Friday, May 17, 2019

Understanding counseling and how it helps

At times one is confronted with circumstances that are difficult to fathom or make sense of. Your reaction to those situations is also unexplainable to yourself. Here is when counseling comes into the picture. A counselor is a person who makes sense of your emotions, reactions,and behavior, which are beyond yourself.  

It is a sort of therapy that lets the affected person share their lives’ turmoil, feelings,and emotionsand innermost fears to another person in a safe and private environment without the fear that the information will reach someone else. It is a way to explain your emotions, happening in your life to another person who would look at it objectively give feedback and also chart out a solution path to help the person, and assist in solving a problem. 

Counseling involves a lot of things, beginning with theexploration of the person’s mental condition, one-on-one assessment by the counselor. People sometimes get comfortable sharing their details with a stranger as compared to a known person for fear of being judged. A counselor helps to make sense of one’s behavior and attitude by delving deep into the person’s past, their history and digging out details which the person might think to be irrelevant and of no consequence. Counselling has helped people deal with their past, present and also prepare them for uncertainties in the future and strengthened their mental balance.

But counseling comes with its stigma, people known to be taking advice are branded crazy or cuckoo by the general people, without understanding their situation. Earlier people who consulted a counselor would keep this information hidden, for fear of being derided or humiliated. But now the society is moving away from this; people are more accepting of mental health conditions and problems in general. With therise in awareness and exposure, people are more cognizant of psychological health issues,and society as a whole is taking measures to deal with them.
In layman’s words, counseling is asking for a friendly ear and share personal issues and problems which every person faces, with a new individual, to understand their perspective on the problem. 

Talking and discussing is considered to be half battle won in such situations. Most people are very hesitant about sharing personal details, but once they do, it is known to be hugely beneficial.
Apart from making one understand their mental state and get a fresh perspective, counseling also helps in motivating people to reach their best potential. Even more than helping figure about one’s problems, it plays a significant role in resolving theconflict between individuals, be it family, friends,etc. Relationships problems were earlier brushed under the carpet; now they are acknowledged and determined with the help of a counselor. 

Typically a counselling session involves the following steps – identifying problems and their impact on one’s self; exploring ways to deal with those issues; identifying patterns on recurring reactions if any and dealing with them; charting out plans to work on relationships; building on one’s hopes, dreams, ideas and passions and work on them.

Counseling is a very significant exercise in our society,and a counselor needs to possess an essential skill to be able to perform to the best of his/her abilities. The most important is the habit of actively listening and responding appropriately to make the person comfortable to share relevant information about his/her life. Post-listening, asking questions is the second step which involves, asking significant issues which make the person reveal precise details about their lives which they otherwise would not. The counselor would then need to reflect on what transpired after the exchange of information and gauge the sentiments of the person and how to tackle them the best.
Being empathetic is also one fundamental characteristic of a counselor where they try and feel what the person is going through, relate to his/her pain points so that they can assist them to the best of their abilities. Counselors need to be kind, genuine, confident individuals who understand human emotions and guide their client out of their difficulties by making them emotionally and mentally stable. 

Some counseling theories are used as a guideline to understand human nature and to determine which counseling skill would work best with a person. These range from Psychoanalytic Theory, Person-Centered Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, The Family Systems Model among others.
Counseling is about creating healthy relationships with your clients that will push and empower them to strive for mental health and to reach their goals. Through the use of intentional counseling techniques and an understanding of human behavior developed through counseling theories, counselors can help people achieve a pinnacle of mental health. In a country like ours where there is a shortage of doctors, there are even less medical professionals who provide counseling assistance. But now things are changing people are openly accepting of mental problems and seeking help, breaking away from the stigma attached to it. 

Nowadays if somebody admits being seeking counseling help, they are more people who reach out and offer to help. It may be either by providing their time by listening or guiding them through the process of counseling. This is a very evident change in our society, which is applauded able.
Sometimes our beliefs or expectations of ourselves or counseling results in a delay in getting help until we reach our saturation point and the circumstance become serious. While no problem is too big or small, many people tell us that they wish they'd taken to counseling sooner and saved themselves a lot of grief.

As individuals what we can do at a personal level is to be aware of our mental and emotional health and strive to do that for others, where you encourage a healthy psychological living. Assist or help people by lending a friendly ear or take them to your nearest counselor, a certifies professional who can help them. 

Laura Wasser has rightly said,
“Sometimes, just the act of venting is helpful. Counselling provides a haven for precisely that kind of free-ranging release. You can say things in a therapist’s office with the therapist present, which would be hurtful in your living room.” 

Counseling Process
The counseling is a process where the concerned counselor tries see the world through his patient’s eyes. In the process the Counselor talks with patients about their personal life. Counseling is a process of helping a person to learn more about themselves. So that you become aware of your self-existence like what you are thinking at a time? What are you talking about yourself? Thus you will better understand the inner you and your environment as well. 

Counseling will help you to have a good life and will leave a positive impact on your life.
To get the desired results through a counseling process, one has to be very active while the counseling process and one haveto be committed that “I will feel better and will work together with the counselor to find out the problem and to solve it a good manner.” In such circumstances, counseling will help a person more rapidly. 

Counseling is a process in which a person has to meet with their counselor at least two to three times in a week to have a better understanding between each other. Counseling creates a unique relationship between him and the client. 

Counseling is a process that will undoubtedly take time. It is not a process in which you will see results in a day. It is a slow process in which a counselor first understands the issue of the person and then become a friend to person so that person can talk about their problem as well. After knowing well about the person, the counselor uses the method which will help the person to solve the problem. Thus counseling process is a slow process which takes time to leave an impact on the person’s life but it will be the enjoyable experience for the person and will change the life of the person positively.
The focus of counseling is to do slow changes in the life of the one. The setback may be the part of the change process,but the difference is very slow and becomes noticeable after a long time. Sometimes people think that if they attend counseling sessions,and it will immediately change their lives,but no it does not look accurate. Counseling will not change everything quickly as it will take time. 

Old habits and unwanted thoughts are not easy to change,but you will see a significant difference after a long time if you are attending counseling sessions. As it is hard to get rid of the unwanted thoughts,but you don’t have to give up. If you try your best, then counseling will change your way of life that you live before. Real change needs your efforts,and your hard work so doesn’t give up whether will be the circumstance. Counseling process will help you,and you can enhance your life in a better way.  You can grow and improve your experience with the help of a counselor or a counseling process.

Steps in the counseling process:
What are the levels that one has to follow?  Now as in any activity there is a beginning, a middle stage and an end similar to the counseling. The counseling has three steps which are the beginning of the counseling process, the intermediate stage of the counseling process and an end of the counseling process. So at the beginning stage, the first step of the counseling is “entry.”

Step 1: Entry and clarification: In this step, a counselor tells you that, everything they will talk about will be credential and does not share withanyone. So that you will be open to open up the things which you want to get rid of.In this step, a relationship has been created among both the counselor and you. In this counselor will provide a comfortable environment to you because if you are not satisfied then building relationships and solving theproblem will be very difficult or can say it is not possible. 

Step 2: Assessment and defining: In this step of the counseling process, the counselor will understand the problem associated with the person and the person will start sharing about their issue and open up with the counselor.  It is the most critical step in a counseling process as if the client or person will not be comfortable and will not share the problem with you then counselor may not help the person to solve the problem. So creating a relationship and sharing issues are most important. 

Step 3: Goal setting:After knowing the problems associated with the person via inquiry or observation, the counselor set goals with the person,but the goal should be feasible, realistic and achievable. Remember don’t set the purposes which are not possible. Then the counselor helps to person to show the positive side of the things the person have to achieve the goal and encourage the person to accomplish the goal. 

Step 4: Interventions: This is the primary counseling process in which a person starts to see the changes in. In an intervention, a counselor plan a strategy to solve the problem and apply the approach to the person. The person begins seeing a little step by step difference in behavior and the problem start becoming unnoticeable to others. Thus the person leads to getting success in the problem solving and will gain more confidence. 

Step 5: Terminating: If the intervention is done, the terminating stage occurs. Look intervention also depends upon the type of the problem the person suffering from. Termination of the counseling will take three to four sessions sometimes it can be done within two sessions only. It depends upon whether the client has belief that in himself/ herself that the problem is solved now. It depends on the client mindset up and as well as the counselor should be sure about the issue is cured or it becomes unnoticeable to others. 

Thus these are the five stages of the counseling process through which the counselor and the client have to solve the problem. At the end of the counseling, the goal is achieved which has been setup by both counselor and the client. 

Remember a thing sometimes the problem is not entirely cured even the problem is solved only up to ten percent of the cases,but the counselor motivates the person to live a life as ordinary people live,and the client will be able to live as learning with the help of the counseling process. 

What does confidentiality mean?
Confidentiality means keeping things private. The information which somebody had shared with you and then you don’t have to share the information with anybody else that is called confidentiality. So, privacy is nothing but to keep a matter or information secret. 

While talking about the confidentiality of patient to a counselor.Secrecy is the right of the client. Suppose you are going to meet a counselor and you share private information of you with your counselor then it is the duty of the counselor that he/she will keep your information private and didn’t say to anybody. As a counselor or a therapist, you must keep the patient’s information up to you. And you must keep the client’s data in confidence and doesn’t say anything to anybody else.
At the first stage of the counseling, the counselor has to explain the restrictions of confidentiality to their client so that the client will come in confidence of the counselor and can share the information with a counselor. A counselor will take his client in belief while telling him/her about the complete confidence that the counselor is going to provide to the client. 

But in some cases like the illegal work like the matter of suicide, child abuse or any other unlawful thing which the person want going to do then you have to disclose under the terms. Confidentiality is the fundamental principle,but as discussed above there are some exceptional situations when privacy can’t be guaranteed. All the counseling sessions are very much confidential,and nothing will be disclosed without the permission of the client. 

When you start to take counseling sessions then firstly you have to sign an agreement before taking the counseling sessions. In this agreement, you have to read the terms and the conditions which the client, as well as the counselor, has to follow. It also includes the confidentiality policy. In which no one from outside has access to your personal information unless you have given consent.

Confidentiality can help to give a safe space to your client by the counselor. Secrecy is what you keep apart from any other person that the client comes in contact with professional or otherwise. 
Thus overall confidentiality is the fundamental principle that a person does not have to reveal information about their clients to the third party without the consent of the client or a legal reason. This becomes law in many countries based on this concept.
This concept is also applied to the information of the bank details and as well as on the medical record. 

The responsibilities of the counselor are:
A counselor has to ensure that a client’s confidentiality should not be breached so that you would not violate the trust of your client. When it comes to the safety of the client, then a counselor has a right to disclose the information which a counselor has stored either in written format or in video format with the consent of the client. 

You have to provide the support to your client whatever be the case but not in illegal circumstances. But remember if your client has goals which are unlawful like terrorism then you have to disclose the information. When a counselor needs the help of the family members or the colleagues to solve the problem of the person, then the counselor should seek the advice of any family member or colleagues to help the patient to get rid of the situation when it is bothering someone. A counselor should improve his or her client till then he or she can do.  

You have to maintain the information of the client like the phone number, email address, address of the client. Keep the files up to date so that you can access the information at any time. So it is necessary to maintain the knowledge of the client up to date.  

Benefits of the confidentiality in counseling:
Confidentiality is the necessary part to maintain the relationship between client and counselor. A lot of information is sensitive which a client did not want to open up to others thus in such case confidentiality is essential.

It will help a counselor to gain the faith of his client so that he or she will open up the situation or the problem which he or she would not want to talk about. As well as if your client know that the data is confidential then he or she feels more comfortable to talk about their problem. 

Confidentiality will improve your relationship with your client as you will take your client in confidence that you will not go to disclose the information with anybody else then it will make a bond between both of you and client will generate a complete trust on you. Thus confidentiality helps in improving the relationship between counselor and client. 

Though the use of the confidentiality a counselor will give a comfortable environment to their client and can ask about their personal life as the client has signed an agreement. The data whether it I wrote or verbal, any data will not be disclosed to the third party,or even if you don’t want then it will not also be published to your family,but there are some illegal expectations as well. 

As the counselor will explain the limit of the confidentiality as well and the risks associated with this and tell about the benefits of the confidentiality so that one will have complete trust in the counselor. While the counselor can have all the counseling sessions in the video format or the written form but still counselor can’t disclose or open up to the third party.  This also applies to the electronic counseling like telephonic counseling as well. 

After signing an agreement, your counselor will behave like as a friend with you to solve out your problems. And you will share all your questions more comfortably as you share with your friend.
Because of a large number of benefits which are discussed above, confidentiality is necessary when talking about counseling. Thus as a right of the client, It becomes a duty of counselor to keep all the information secret.

How counseling helps  -  Insight on counseling and counselor
Every time, every human being will have problems. It can be financial matters; issues related to grades, studies or academics, issues related to personal life or it could also be due to loneliness. For instance, a wealthy person who has all the facilities that he needs, who has all the comforts and money in his life might not have a happy life with his family. Then that becomes a state of the problem. A person who has a happy family and happy personal life is suffering because he has not got proper employment and has not even a little amount of money to feed his family. Then the employment issue becomes his problem. In this way, every person and every sector of people on earth have their issues to deal with.

There may be a lot of difficulties in life and life is all about dealing with these kinds of problems. But, all the question arises only when your heart gives up at such times. At such times, the person feels that there is nobody to help him out and there starts the actual problem in life. This might sometimes lead to cases where the person is so stressed out that suicidal tendencies start developing in their life. One will feel that one have none to rely upon and will think that he has to deal with all the problems by himself. This kind of tendencies and feelings are hard for the mind,and they are these kind destructive thoughts that one should not even think of. To help you out in all these, here is the method of counseling. If you feel any of such kind of thoughts, then be sure that you consult an excellent counselor first before you take any step further regarding the issue.

What should you do at such times in life?
Be it any situation; when you feel that you are going to sink in such kind of thoughts, then you should make your heart strong enough to fight all such circumstances. You should stay prepared to face any situation in life. But, sometimes in the worst case scenario, it so happens that the job gets entirely out of control and you no matter how much you have been preparing for this all the time, all of that goes vain. At such times, you will feel low,and you will think that you need to have a shoulder to rest on and share all your sorrows. Even when that fails, many counselors are out there to help you.

How does counseling help:
Well, counseling is a simple act wherein you will be either given advice on how to deal with your issue or you will be prepared to be strong enough to deal with your problems,or you will be given the moral support depending on what suits you the best. 

All you have to do is, whenever you think that you are not able to handle any situation or if the position is such that you will not be able to tell this to anybody and you cannot stop thinking about it, then just visit your counselor. If you do not have a regular counselor than just take the help of the Google and find one counselor or ask somebody who has already been there and gets to know the details.

Go to the counselor and tell him all your problems peacefully. You can share anything with your counselor and be sure enough that he is not going to let your secrets to anybody else. He will assure you that he will keep all that you discuss with him only between you and him. Such is the dedication that they hold and the ethics that they carry about their profession.

You might be wondering what the counseling is just a one-man talk and then after you are done the counselor will only provide you suitable option on how you can solve it. 

A good counselor:
If you are thinking so, then you are entirely wrong. The art of counseling itself does not follow that way. A good counselor not just listens to you but also sees to it that he is making you feel comfortable by being posing questions and raising doubts and being interactive enough. Because being in that profession, he knows that being interactive with the client does a great deal of help and one will definitely enter that comfort zone with the counselor. He will make you forget that he is the counselor and make you feel that he is one person whom you have known for a long time. This kind of bonding with the client relaxes the client more and helps him to open up about his issues.

The counselor, at the end of the conversation, will not do any miracles as such. He will provide you with the possible options that are there to solve your particular issue. It is not that you are not sensitive enough to think of them. It is just that your brain is not ready to function and work at that particular time because you are under peer pressure by all the problems that you have been handling as such. The counselor will just take off all those tensions from your head and get you back to the regular self.

It is a food feeling when you are over stressed,and you cannot handle your thoughts,and someone helps you out with it to get you back to your actual self. It is nice to have someone by your side to share all your problems with and seek help from them. A counselor is more like a best friend who will listen to your issues and help you out. The only difference is that he will not be there with you all the time and he will be available only for that period in life when you have difficulties.


For more details on best service counseling in New Delhi India or Online Distance counseling, visit:

Dr S K Sharma
Ethos Healthcare
T 12, Green Park Extension,
New Delhi 110016. India.
Ph: +91-11-46026700, +91-11-26164016
Cell/Whatsapp - +91-9810155920

Friday, March 23, 2018

Introduction to Counseling

Human beings are like a whirlpool of different emotions, which involves sadness, happiness, anger, etc. Every emotion emitted by a person has a deep relationship with their life. And, the process of studying such feelings through the events of his life is known as counseling.

Counseling is a medical process in which professional experts try to understand the reason behind the particular person's conflicting emotions. This exercise helps a person to understand different shades of his character, and it further allows him to understand himself better.

A professional counselor conducts counseling in a safe and protected environment. So, that slowly interpret different personal and interpersonal emotions which can be further examined. This therapy helps individuals to focus on their life events more accurately and provides them right positive direction. Moreover, such counseling can also affect the whole lifestyle of a person positively.

Counseling Operates Under Confidential Clause
In counseling, deep-rooted and personal aspects of life are discussed. That's why it is kept tightly bounded with the confidentiality clause. In which counselor is bound to never disclose the counseling session’s information with any other person.

Every counseling clinics have to signs the nondisclosure agreement in advance. And, if the counseling clinic or counselor fails to maintain the confidential clause, then the patient can take legal action against the breach of such contract. Thus counseling is wholly protected by the secret clause.

Different Styles of Counseling
Well, in today's stressful environment every person is struggling with his kind of mental issues. Thus, every person requires a particular type of counseling sessions according to their struggle. That's why nowadays numerous types of counseling services are provided by the professionals according to the nature of the problem.

But, the main types of counselings which are highly in demand, are mentioned ahead:
Marriage Counseling - Marriage is a holy matrimony bond between two souls, but sometimes when huge conflicts occur in this bond. Then, taking the help of a professional can resolve the marital disputes very soundly.
Grief Counseling - Some people react very strongly towards the emotion of grief. They surrender themselves in the mercy of their loss and destroys their life. For such persons, grief counseling is very vital to let go their grief.
Family Counseling - The family is made up of different thoughts and ideologies of it's each member. That's why to keep the foundation of a family stable, and to a positive environment in the home, family counseling can help.
Teen Counseling - Teenagers are the some of the most confused peoples. They are confused about their thinking, age, preferences and mostly about their surrounding. That's why teenagers have to learn to move in right direction and grow for better understanding their future. Thus teen counseling is highly recommended by mental experts.
Mental Illness Counseling - People suffering from mental chemical disorders must consider counseling. As this will help them to cope up with their mental health.
Addiction Counseling - The person who is in the grip of any strong addiction requires counseling help the most. They need professional guidance to beat the monster of addiction and to establish control of their life again.
Group Counseling - In this counseling group of people who are suffering from similar kind of issue comes together and share their thoughts and struggles.
Individual Counseling - In this counselor interacts with one individual and helps him to self-evaluate the meaning of his existence.

Who Can Take Help From Counseling?
Well, any person who is suffering from any mental stress can take benefit from the counseling. But mainly:
Personal Problems - Depression, anxiety, anger issues, obsession, phobia, homosexuality, drug addiction, low self-esteem, sex addiction, etc.
Trauma Victims - Rape victims, sex abuse victims, financial crisis troubles, etc.
Behavioral Issues - Family discords, difficulty in studies, loneliness, broken home, unhappy sexual life, etc.

Advantages of Counseling
Counseling can leave numerous positive remarks in your life, like:
•    It will develop a positive outlook for you.
•    Gives you strength to deal with your inner demons.
•    Achieve goals of your life.
•    It helps in building a healthy relationship with your family members, spouse, and friends.
•    Helps in establishing self-control and resistance.
•    It provides you a new perspective to live your life.
•    You will feel relaxed, jubilant, and refreshing after the counseling.
•    It provides you energy to deal with the upcoming struggles of the life.
•    Learn new dynamics of your different relationships.

Procedure of Counseling
Counseling works on elementary phenomena of trust, where a person needs to trust his counselor entirely, and have to submit himself to the counselor. Through which the counselor can understand more in-depth and internal turmoil of person's mind and help them in overcoming them.
If a person isn't comfortable during such counseling sessions or hesitates to share information with the counselor. Then, you will never get the desired result from the counseling. To get the wholesome benefit from the advice, you have to surrender yourself to the counselor and have to follow his commands. Only, then the process of information will be considered accomplished.

Schedule of Counseling

Well, the counseling schedule for every person is different according to the depth of their problem. But, mainly counseling schedules can be divided into three parts:
One time Counseling Sessions - They are single time counseling session wherein one schedule problem of person is resolved.
Short-Term Counseling Sessions - This counseling session lasts for 3 months with 2-3 frequent counselings.
Long-Term Counseling Sessions - Duration of this counseling session is more than a year with timely counseling meetings.

Usually counseling sessions last for 30 minutes to 60 minutes or above. But, duration of counseling depends upon the medical condition of the person.


For more details on best service counseling in New Delhi India or Online Distance counseling, visit:

Dr S K Sharma
Ethos Healthcare
T 12, Green Park Extension,
New Delhi 110016. India.
Ph: +91-11-46026700, +91-11-26164016
Cell/Whatsapp - +91-9810155920